Why I Run
by Playing with Fire
Summary: This is a V/H oneshot! It takes place over a span of 6 years after the series. Hitomi communicates with Van through thoughts, and running plays a key part in her life. But she finds herself wanting Van to be there for real... will she get her wish?


whyirun _A/N_: This story is a oneshot. *laughs* I'm not much for it, but hey, some people might like it, and who knows? It may end up being the same scenario as one of my other fics where I hated it at first and then ended up liking it.   
Anyway, this story is the result of what happens when this gal gets bored in a certain class *coughcivicsandcareerscough* and finds herself with multiple sheets of lined paper.   
P.S. To people reading this: there will be no sequel to this. There really is no point, I don't need to turn this fic (which, btw, I now like) into one of those cliche fic. It's up to the readers to decide what happens after. However! I might write more stories under this name! ^_^   
P.P.S. **PLEASE CHECK OUT MY PROFILE AND ENTER YOUR GUESSES! So far, only one person has entered(she got it right). So please, for the sake of this experiment, check out my profile. Arigatou!**

**_Disclaimer_**: I don't own the darn series, okay? If I did, there would be a second season. : P   
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**Why I Run (or, Kaidou ai Terlu)**

"Go for it, Hitomi!" the female voice rings out above the mixed murmurs of the crowds on the bleachers. "I know you can do it!" 

I look up over at my best friend, the 16 year-old with the reddish-brown hair. She is grinning wildly, her boyfriend's arm slung over her shoulders. Amano waves at me with his free hand and gives me a thumbs up. I shake my head at the couple, in disbelief that their relationship has held strong for nearly a year. 

"Okay ladies, get to your marks." the announcer booms. I finish my stretching and glance up at the stands, and see him. I smile. He's always there for me. 

Instinctively, I reach for the pendant. My hand comes in contact with just my track shirt and I remember where my beautiful necklace went to. I shove the memory aside as I crouch over the track, my feet against the blocks. _Focus everything_. The two words echo in my mind. 

"Ready...." 

I jerk my head towards what's ahead of me. 

"GO!" 

The female "rockets" take off alongside me, but I am their leader. The huffing and puffing grow louder with each passing step. My eyes gleam as I see the finish line, a few metres away. Within split seconds, the string snaps around my thin waist. The crowds cheer and clap and cry as I slow my pace to a walk. My coach comes up to me, the ice-cold waterbottle in hand, and I drink from it gratefully. 

"You did good, Kanzaki." she says, and congratulates me with a hug. Over her shoulder I look at the bleachers. Well, not directly at them, but to the side, where a boy my age is leaning against it. His arms are crossed over his red sleeveless top in a stubborn manner, but his eyes show tender care. He smiles at me and then fades before my eyes. 

On the top of the three blocks, I bow my head so that the judge can string the medal over my head. He shakes my hand and I resume my straight posture, standing with pride. I had won the track finals. My dream. 

I soon step off the blocks alongside the other female runners who took 2nd and 3rd place. Amano and Yukari are the first of my friends to run up to me. Yukari hugs me tightly and Amano lightly pecks my cheek. This simple action causes my best friend to pull away from the hug and glare at the brown-haired man. 

"Susumu! I should have known there was something going on between you and miss Athlete here!" she chides. 

Jokingly, he wraps his arm around my waist. "Sorry love, but I just can't resist women who are associated with track. Oh wait..." his arm falls. "Y_ou're_ track manager! No wonder you drive me insane." quickly, he pulls his girlfriend into an embrace and kisses her passionately. I giggle and look away to give them privacy, but find that there really is no point, because I am suddenly bombarded by family and other friends, and they block my view entirely. I let out a pathetic yelp for help, and a hand grabs me to pull me away from the "fans". God bless Yukari. 

In the privacy of my own room, I flop down on my bed after a warm shower. Diligently, I pick up the golden award from this afternoon and examine it. The carvings on it aren't extravagant in the slightest, but I find it to be gorgeous. It's my very first gold. 

_You never cease to amaze me._ I knew he would pick such a time to contact me, and I'm glad. _You were incredible out there today, Hitomi._

I blush faintly. _Thank you for being there, Van. It meant a lot to me because... it was my first gold._

I feel him smile. _I only wish I could have been there for real, to congratulate you properly._

My heart skips a beat. "Properly"? What did he mean by "properly"? A kiss, perhaps? I turn a darker shade of pink at the thought. 

Van chuckles softly. _Perhaps._ he says devilishly. 

My hand flies over my mouth. Did I think that out loud? I'm so careless when it comes to that. _Um... I have to go, my mother is calling me for supper._

_You eat at 9 pm?_ he knows when I'm lying, and is currently trying to get me to fess up: dinner was eaten 3 hours ago. 

_Yes, we're late tonight. I'll talk to you tomorrow_. hastily, I sever the connection, relieved that now I can think freely, without the danger of him hearing my thoughts. He knows how I feel about him. During the Destiny War that took place on his world a year ago, I told him, right out, that I loved him. I never learned how he feels in return, but I have always assumed that those feeble attempts in the windmill were his way of confessing. But as the months have gone by, I begin to doubt it. He has never said anything to lead to confirmation of my suspicions. Maybe there was a time when he loved me, but has now found someone else. 

_No_, I tell myself firmly. _I would have sensed someone else by now_. I sigh, depositing the medal on my night table and tying my hands behind my head. I think of Yukari, and her relationship with Amano. They are so closely knit, and I envy them slightly. I wish I could always be with Van, physically. I adore the ability to be able to speak with him by my thoughts, and being able to see his astral form every now and then helps as well. I told Yukari what happened after I returned. She believed every word that sprung out of my mouth, but at the same time was surprised. She wasn't taken offguard by the fact that I had visited another world, but rather the fact that I was still the Hitomi she had known before the incident. She told me that she had been to a site and had read a story that was startlingly similar to my experience. Except that after the main character's return to her world, she sat around and brooded, day in and day out, ganging up on herself for not choosing to stay with the guy. Her grades dropped and she quit the basketball team, because the sport reminded her too much of her love. She grew depressed and semi-suicidal. 

When my best friend told me the story, I cocked a brow. I wasn't some wimp like the girl from the story. My experience during my 15th year, during the horrible violence and war, caused me to age rapidly in maturity. I'm stronger now, both mentally and physically, and not easily susceptible. My grades, if anything, have improved, and I continue my favourite sport despite the fact that it reminds me of Van. You don't need physical contact to love someone. 

My right hand is pulled out from under my head as I reach for my reading lamp and flick it off. I'm glad there is no school tomorrow. I've been thinking too much as it is. 

*_*_*_*_*_*

I am 18 today. The big step into true adulthood, you could say. 

My family and close friends sit around me at the table, waiting eagerly for me to slice a piece of birthday cake for them. My mother is on my left, and my father on my right. Mamoru, now a frighteningly tall 16 year-old, is seated next to my father. Amano is next to my brother, and beside him is Yukari. Haruka, a girl I met through multiple track meets that have taken place over the past years, sits between Yukari and my mother. 

"Hitomi, hurry up!" whines the short-haired blonde next to my best friend. "That scrumptious-looking cake is making my mouth water. You're torturing me by cutting it so slowwww...." Everyone laughs. I cut her a piece and hand it over. Her eyes twinkle in merriment. The laughter goes again. 

As my friends and family eat, I steal a glance over to the doorway of the kitchen. Van is standing there, watching as he leans against the doorframe. He passed up an important meeting with the ruler of Cesario in order to be "here" for my birthday. In April, I attended his own party. As he was opening his gifts, he kept taking quick glimpses of me as I stood by a nearby pillar. Merle, now stunning in her 16th year, kept looking to where her king kept shifting his eyes. When she couldn't see anything but a bland concrete support structure, she grew frustrated. Van and I shared a laugh. He's the only one who can see me in my astral form, and vice-versa. 

Mom gets up to clear away the dishes. 

"It's okay, I'll do it." I protest, wanted to get a chance to be in the kitchen. She looks at me curiously. 

"Honey..." 

"No no. I'm the birthday girl, aren't I? You all just go into the den. I'll be done in 10 minutes." 

Defeated, mom is followed by the guests as they make their way to the living room. I wait until they are all there, engaged in conversation. I cast my eyes over Yukari and Amano, who are chatting about something that I can't hear. They broke up last year, but have remained exceptionally good friends. I have reason to believe that they're soulmates, and I can see a possible get-back-together in their future. 

I pile up the dirty plates and glasses. My experience as a part-time waitress helps me out with the balancing task and I shuffle into the kitchen. Van is waiting for me, standing by the counter. 

_You're an adult now!_ he exclaims. He brushes away a false tear. _My little Hitomi, *sniffle* all grown up! Excuse me._ he turns away and makes a noise as though he's blowing his nose. I roll my eyes. I can tell he's been spending time with Dryden, from the way his humour is shown. 

_I'm glad you could be here for my 18th._ I say in thought-speak. I don't want to talk out loud, or the people in the other room might think that their close one has gone a little "wonky". 

_I wouldn't miss it for the world._ he answers after he's turned around. He gives me one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen. He has grown about 9 inches taller than when I last saw him in real life, and he is nicely toned. Although he still wears rather tight beige pants, his top is no longer red and baggy, but white, like a chemise. He looks like a king, alright. He is more handsome than any man I have ever seen. 

Suddenly, the ugly reminder that Van is only with me in spirit shows its fac, and I long to be held, truly held in those strong arms of his. I want him to say it, whisper "I love you" in my ear. I want to feel those light lips on my own, a silent declaration of love. Mostly, I just want him to be with me. 

The tears come without warning and I abruptly turn to the sink, hoping the warm running water will make me forget such thoughts. 

_What's wrong?_ Van furrows his brows as he makes an attempt to look at me. I turn my head in the other direction. 

_Nothing, why would it be?_ I laugh falsely. _It's my 18th, I have no reason to be sad._ I look up to where Van is standing... rather, _was_ standing. He's no longer there. I gasp and look around the room. He has changed places and is now standing right in front of me. He looks down at me, concern etched into his handsome features as the tears continue to collect at the base of my eyes. 

_You forget, I can feel your emotions. Even when our link is broken, I know what emotions are going through you. Please tell me what's wrong._

I let out a small choked sob as my fingers reach out to touch his face. I'm not surprised when they pass right through his cheek. _It's getting harder... so much harder._ I whisper. _You're here, but you're not. Van, I haven't seen you in 3 years... I miss being with you, near you. It's so hard..._

He looks solemn._ I know, Hitomi, I know. It's hard for me, too_. The pendant glows beneath his white top. _I'm still working on it. Someday, I promise you, I will find a way for us to be together. But until then..._ slowly, he bends over and his lips graze my cheek. I don't feel anything, of course, but I understand his intentions._ I will be with you in spirit._ He stand up from the kiss. _Kaidou ai terlu, Hitomi_. he says gently, and I can only assume it means "goodbye", because after he says it he fades back into his own world. 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*

My 19th year has been extremely busy. I have been entered more track and field competitions, and returned to home, my apartment, with more medalions resting proudly around my neck. Van never fails to see me run, giving up important meetings and Fanelia construction work to see me. 

But this time, the stakes are higher than ever. This particular competition will be one of the most important in my life. It's the one that will determine who is going to the Olympics. 

"Now remember to focus everything!" Coach Yuuki says as she rubs my shoulders to warm me up. "Give it everything you've got. You're going to the Olympics, girl, and you know and I both know it. Now all you have to do is show the judges who you are!" 

I nod, take a large gulp of water, and make my way over to the track. I do some stretches before the announcement is made, loud and clear, around the big stadium. "Women who are participating in the 100 m dash, please line up on your marks." I bounce slightly on my feet and shake my hands before getting into my place. I can see Van watching out of the corner of my eye, leaning against the base of the bleachers. The stadium is built like one made for baseball. 

"Women ready!" the announcer shouts. 

"Get set..." 

_Focus everything._

_BLAM!_ the gun is shot and I am off. However, I'm not in the lead. Two girls have passed me. No! 

Then, something penetrates my mind. _I'm with you, Hitomi. You can do it. Make your dream come true._

_Van..._

A sudden burst of speed befalls my feet and I find myself overcoming the aqua-haired girl. The brunette, however, is good. We cross the finish line at the same time, but only one of us will be picked. The photograph will determine who is going to the Olympics. I walk over to my coach, panting heavily. She immediately gives me my water bottle, but I don't drink from it. I'm extremely worried about the results and I pace. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, that very much looked like a tie, but only one woman will go. The photograph is being developed." 

I continue to pace. 

_It'll be fine._ Van says. _I have faith in my girl._ he winks at me from his new place, on the bench next to my coach. _You're amazing. Out there, you must have invisible wings, because you seem to fly._

Thank you for your faith in me... I say, and if I wasn't so stressed I would be blushing at his compliment, and the way he called me _his_ girl. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are back with the results of the women's 100m dash. The woman who is going to the Olympics is..." 

I hold my breath. 

"...runner number 22, Kanzaki Hitomi!" 

My hand flies over my mouth and I feel tears of joy threatening to run down my cheeks. My coach runs towards me, but Van beats her to it. He runs a hand through my hair --literally-- and murmurs, _I told you you could do it. Kaidou ai terlu._ he fades away, leaving my coach to envelop me in a congratulatory hug. 

It seems to take a minute for the knowledge to kick in. I'm going to the Olympics... I'M GOING TO THE OLYMPICS!! That's when I let the tears come. 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

I've never been to China before and am somewhat surprised by the beauty of the area I am staying. I'm so happy I'm here, I've accomplished so much by something that used to be no more than an after-school activity. I've been in training for the Olympics for the past 11 months. It's only 17 days until I'm up, until I compete against female runners from all over the globe. 

But something is making me sad, is eating away at my soul. It's been 3 months since I last talked to Van. I was there for his 21st birthday, but I haven't seen or heard from him since. I'm really worried about him. The vicious side of my mind keeps repeating two reasons for this. One: That he's forgotten me entirely, or Two: that he's become infatuated with some princess. I heard that it was a Fanelian custom for a man to be married by the age of 21. 

Early in the morning I get up for my usual jog. Silently, I creep down the long corridors of the Olympian athlete "hotel" and out into the crisp air. I glance at the large stadium. It's a beautiful sight. The track inside is so well groomed that there isn't a speck of dirt on it. It's a thousand times better than the worn-down one at my old high school. My chances of success have increased by such a trivial fact. 

I jog for 2 hours, until I reach the spot that I make a point of coming to every morning. It's a simple park bench, shaded by trees but allowing enough sky so that I can see the rising sun. It's then, as I sit sipping my water, that I feel something. 

_Hitomi._ it's enough to drive me to insanity, that one, simple word that is my name. I clutch the waterbottle tightly in my hand, and wonder if this is all just some tantalizing dream. I pinch myself and when I feel a slight prick of pain, I know that it isn't. 

_Van?_ even my thoughts are quavering. _Is it really you?_

He chuckles, and pretends to be stricken by my words. _Why, is there another_ dashingly _handsome male who you've been speaking to through your thoughts?_

When I don't laugh at the Allen-like characteristics he's put out, he grows serious. _I'm so sorry for not being able to contact you. There was a feud between a pair of neighbouring countries and by some higher power I was chosen to settle the argument._

_I thought you had forgotten me._

_Never!_ _Don't think that even for a moment. You're far too important to me to forget, ever. And besides, didn't we make a promise to each other when we were teenagers?_

_I don't recall _you_ saying anything about never forgetting me, Van Fanel_. I snort playfully. I gaze out at the rising sun. _Oh Van, I wish you could be with me to see this. It's the most radiant light..._

_Damn.___

_What is it?___

_Basram's king is acting like a fool again. Looks like I have to play the role of the Peacemaker once more. I'm sorry, I have to go. But before I do, I have to tell you something, the main reason I had to contact you._

I listen intently. 

_I promise you, Hitomi Kanzaki, that when you take the golden trophy for first place in the Olympics for running, I will be there._

Before his chi fades, those familiar words echo through my mind: _Kaidou ai terlu._

*_*_*_*_*_*

It's the day of the Women's 100m dash. I'm sweating. My eyes dart around the stadium, desperately searching for a man in a white top and tight beige pants. There are too many people, I can't tell one white-shirted man from this distance, anyway. I reach up behind my head and tighten my small ponytail. I don't want it to fall out while I'm running. 

I do a few warm-up stretches, flexing and straining my legs, and shaking out my ankles. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly, a feeble attempt at calming myself down. I'm terrified. What happens if I make a mistake? It will be broadcasted all over national television. I don't think I would be able to deal with the mortifying sensation, not to mention the pity. 

"Runners, get on your marks." the announcement is clear, simple, but it sends shivers up my spine. I shake them off and line up on my track. I shift my track top slightly, the one with the well-pronounced number "22" on the front and back. It's my lucky number. It's what helped me get into this league, and now it was going to help me out. 

"Ready..." I prepare myself for what's ahead. I still can't sense Van's spirit with me, and the thought that he will only be here if I get 1st place will motivate me to do better than my best. 

The gun goes of and so do we. There are 10 of us running at one time, 10 out of 50 others who are waiting for their turn to run. She who has the best time will win. 

I'm running as fast as I can, but it's no use. There are 3 women ahead of me. _Van... where are you? I need your spirit to help me, to encourage me._

But Van never makes an appearance with his spirit, and I cross the finish line at 4th place. When the others have run and the scores have been tallied, I find myself at 7th. I want to cry. Not because of my loss of gaining a medal to represent my country, but because Van will probably not show. I wallow in doubt as I make my way back to my hotel room. Slowly I organize my things into a neat pile. I'll be sent back home the day after tomorrow, so I want to be prepared. 

The night is warm and welcoming, and soon enough I find myself outside in the air. I'm not jogging this time, just walking, letting my thoughts go. Before I realize it, I have arrived at the bench where I last communicated with Van. I plop myself down on it and sigh wearily, exhausted from stress and thoughts. But my silence is soon interrupted. 

"Are you Kanzaki Hitomi, the Olympic runner?" a voice behind a nearby tree questions. It sounds clouded, muffled. I jerk away from the bench, afraid that this guy might be some kind of psychotic weirdo. I can't see him, he's hidden in the shadows. I hold my fists out in front of me, prepared. If he tries anything, I have those self-defense classes on my side. 

"Who wants to know?" I ask. I'm supposed to sound confident and self-assured, but my voice shakes slightly. 

"I was at the stadium today for the women's 100 metre run. You were incredible, a true winner!" 

My arms relax slightly. "You have the wrong woman. I received seventh place, not first." 

"Seventh is an admirable placing. Your country will be proud." 

"But you don't understand!" my arms flop down to my sides. "Because I didn't win first, the man I love wasn't there. He told me he would be when I 'took the gold', but I didn't! I took 7th place, and that's surely why he didn't come. Now I'll never find out how he feels. He's probably forgotten me, and moved on with his life. He shouldn't spend time on a washed-out athlete like me anyway." I sigh. "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be telling you this." 

There is a pause on the man's part. When he speaks again, his voice is no longer muffled, but clear, rich, and strong. My hand flies to my mouth at what he says, and my eyes feel hot with forming tears. "Hitomi... do you know what 'kaidou ai terlu' means?" He takes a step out from behind the tree, so he is now fully visible by the light of the streetlamp. The pink pendant that he wears is glowing furiously against his white top, and the sword and scabbard at his side sway slightly as he slowly walks towards me. Soon, he is only 6 inches from my face and he looks at me with those beautiful amber eyes. His left hand reaches up and caresses my cheek, brushing away the tear that falls down my face. Then, he says in a whisper, "It means 'I love you'." Gingerly, he takes my hand that has been covering my mouth this whole time and brings it away. Then, he gradually brings his head down, tilting it slightly. His eyes are closed and soon I find my own eyelids drooping. His gentle lips brush my own in a shy kiss, our first kiss. It's so sweet, and I want to stay like this forever. 

But then something else hits me, an intense wave of desire. It's been almost 6 years since we were last together, and this feathery liplock doesn't suffice. Van must be feeling the same way because his strong arms find their way around my waist, pulling me closer. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, wanting more out of the romantic embrace. Soon the once-timid kiss has become that of lovers, as our mouths meet with more passion. It's during this time that I think of what Van has told me, the translation for the three words he said to me. _Kaidou ai terlu_. He had first said them on my 18th birthday, and then again when I won the race that declared me Olympic material. And then, as I watched the sun rise a few weeks ago, he had said it again. I was a fool to think he had forgotten me, and I know that his "I love you"s were real. This kiss is proof of that, because both our minds are open to each other. We're not speaking, but the emotions that flow through him are overwhelming. He loves me more than anything in the Universe, and I return that feeling as tears of joy cascade down my cheeks. He has deepened the kiss, and his tongue lightly touches mine. I feel like I'm melting in his arms. 

After an eternity of bliss, we break away. He cups his face in my hand, once more brushing away my tears. He then looks me straight in the eyes. 

"Gods, I love you." he says quietly. "You are so amazing. I kept my promise, Hitomi. I told you I would be here to see you, and I was. You were the goddess of wings on the track. And..." he smiles deviously. "I congratulated you properly." 

I blush furiously but then the nasty voice inside my head reminds me of its prescence and I break away from the embrace. 

"Hitomi?" Van questions. 

"Why are you wasting your time on this ex-runner? I didn't win the gold, I'm not good enough for my country or for you." I look at the ground, wondering mournfully if he'll agree with what I just said. 

But he doesn't say anything. Instead, I feel two strong arms wrap around me from behind. "Never think that. You will always be more than good enough for me. You surpass me in so many ways... " he turns me around in his arms. "Hitomi... I want to spend my life with you." 

I gasp at the proposal. The tears come back and I throw my arms around his neck. I whisper "I love you" over and over. In the light of the moon and the stars high above us, we share another passion-filled kiss. 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*

I bob up and down on my feet, and stretch out my legs in warm-ups by my bench. I'm on in 5 minutes, but I want to be ready. 

I'm back at the Olympics. It's been 6 years since I first found myself here, since I shared my first kiss with Van. At my husband's insistance, I continued to run until I found myself here. It's no longer in China, of course, but in a Canadian city called Toronto. Canada is such a beautiful country. The Olympics always choose the most scenic places for the games. 

I glance up at my husband, who is sitting in the first row. Our 5 year-old son, Koriku, bounces up and down on his father's lap, giggling. His emerald eyes twinkle behind his messy black locks. They look like ordinary people, but really they don't belong here. I don't, either. I made my decision 6 years ago, when I married. I only come back for important races, and the Olympics is the most important of all. I represent Japan, even though I don't live there anymore. After this race, my family and I will return to our true home. 

"Mommy!" Koriku cries cheerfully, and reaches out for me. Defeated by his heart-melting smile, I walk over to the bleacher wall to say hello. I reach my hand up to him as far as it can go, but unfortunately I'm not tall enough. Koriku whines at me to try again, but I know that I'd have to scale the wall to be able to touch him, and that would look rather suspicious on national television. 

"I think he wants to run this race with you!" my husband shouts down. "He won't stop moving his little feet!" 

I laugh and gaze into my husband eyes. For a moment time freezes, and there is just the two of us. The announcement for the runners to get on their marks breaks the reverie and he blows me a kiss to wish me luck. I nod, do a quick final stretch and line up, the number 22 prominent on my front and back. 

"Runners ready...." 

I face forward, prepared to go. Right before the gun is fired, my husband communicates with me through the thought-speak that we never lost. Then he speaks the words that are the reason for my running. 

_I know you can do it. Kaidou ai terlu, Hitomi._   
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
